By Victor Angula |

As the National Men’s Conference taking place at Ongwediva in Oshana Region enters its third and final day, the topic for discussion is “healthy intimate relationships”.

Men must have healthy and intimate sexual relationships with their partners where effective communication is the order of the day and alternatives to violence are always at hand.

This is the message being relayed to the men attending the conference. And this message is being conveyed through a panel discussion.

“According to my opinion most men would feel nothing about cheating on their partners, but just when a man get cheated once by his partner it would be a big thing,” says Mr James Itana, a member of the panel.

Itana says that this selfishness in relationships on the side of men is one of the main causes of conflict.

“Men also need to be good listeners. Communication comes from listening,” says Mr S. Heita, another panellist. “A relationship where listening is not important, such a relationship is doomed.”

Men must learn to listen with the purpose of understanding what the other partner is communicating, instead of listening with the purpose of responding.

In a nutshell, the panellists agree that violence is a form of communication in a relationship where there is no communication.

“Romance is constantly abused in our society,” says a member of the audience. “Something we need to observe is that too often we think that ‘romance’ is expressed through giving to our female partners.

“On Christmas Day you’re giving, on Valentine Day you’re again giving. This type of giving sometimes lead to unhealthy relationships.

“Giving and just giving without getting anything of equal value from your partner will in most probability lead to violence sooner or later.

“One day the other partner will feel that she wants to move on and find another person, and when you think about everything you gave to her during those romantic moments you will not feel well to let go without fighting.”

For that reason, it is best to be careful when giving as a form of romantic expression.

In the photo: A panel discussion at the national men’s conference.